What is domestic & family violence?

As we discussed in our previous blog post, Domestic and Family Violence (DFV) is a huge problem in Australia. But what even is DFV?

At its simplest, DFV refers to: 

“an ongoing pattern of behaviour aimed at controlling a partner through fear, for example, by using behaviour which is violent and threatening. In most cases, violent behaviour is part of a range of tactics to exercise power and control over women and their children and can be both criminal and non-criminal. Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse” (Council of Australian Governments, 2011, p. 2).

This means that DFV can be expressed in lots of different ways. These include:

Physical Violence:
This can involve hitting, strangling, choking, and any form of physical violence. It also incorporates the threat of physical violence, even if it does not actually occur.

Psychological Abuse:
This definition of abuse incorporates insults, verbal abuse and degrading comments. It also includes gaslighting, which involves manipulating and undermining another individual's thoughts and perceptions of reality. This can lead the individuals to question their own sanity.

Sexual & Reproductive Abuse:
Unwanted sexual contact, or being coerced into sexual acts in which one does not wish to engage. It also includes forcing a pregnancy or a termination upon another person.

Stalking:
Any act or attempt to follow, monitor or harass another person (e.g. following their car home from work and sitting outside their house). 

Financial abuse:
Using or withholding money in order to deprive, manipulate or control a partner. 

Social abuse:
Restricting a partner's contact with other individuals, whether family, friends or work colleagues. This includes face-to-face, phone or social media contact. 

Technological abuse:
Includes regularly demanding to look through a partner's phone, or using tracking technology to monitor a partner's location. 

Because DFV is so varied, and because it often involves lying and gaslighting, it can sometimes be hard for individuals to identify that they are experiencing DFV. Often our first step at Robertson & Ling when working with DFV victims is educational. Our counsellors help DFV victims to unpack the nature of the relationship they are or were in, and to spot the abusive patterns of behaviour.

Each of us have a responsibility to know what DFV looks like, not only for our own safety and wellbeing, but for the safety and wellbeing of those around us.

If you require urgent assistance for a DFV situation, please phone the police on 000. For non-urgent DFV matters, please contact the Family Violence Response and Referral Line on 1800 633 937.

You are welcome to a free, 15 minute phone consultation to discuss your suitability for counselling at Robertson & Ling. To view any other services that Robertson & Ling offer, such as marriage or couples counselling, please visit our services page. If you would like to book in for counselling at Robertson & Ling, you can do so here.