How to give good feedback to your kids
Kids and young people are learning all the time. And they’re not just learning about different colours, or algebra, or how to structure a sentence properly. They’re learning how to interact with others, how to manage their emotions, and how to handle stressful situations.
And it’s not easy for them. After all, we as adults find it hard to know how to interact with others, how to mange our emotions, and how to handle stressful situations - and we have fully developed brains! So it can be incredibly useful to a child if we provide them with specific reinforcement, encouragement and insight during as these circumstances crop up.
One way to do this is by using the SBI feedback approach. SBI is an acronym for situation, behaviour, and impact. Let’s use a simple example to illustrate how SBI feedback can be used:
”Last week you had your first exam (situation). I saw how much time you spent after school studying so you could be well prepared (behaviour). And you did so well on your exam, and I think it was because of how much work and study you did (impact).”
There are a number of reasons why the SBI feedback works well. Firstly, it is very concrete. Notice how a specific situation is identified, and a specific behaviour is also named up. This leaves the child or young person in no doubt as to what the parent is encouraging or reinforcing. Secondly, it draws the link between behaviour and outcome. Children or young people may not necessary make the connection the way they’ve acted has directly influenced the outcome. This means it can be highly useful when an adult makes this connection for them.
The SBI feedback approach is a powerful, easy-to-remember tool for parents as they seek to nurture and encourage the development of their children. And it’s one that Robertson & Ling encourages parents to use when the time is right.
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