The tell-tale signs you need relationship counselling

Relationships are important, and they have a significant impact on our lives. No relationship is perfect, but the good ones impact our lives for the better. They improve our sense of purpose or meaning, they give us a feeling of connection, and they can enhance our mood or sense of self. Meanwhile, bad relationships can be profoundly damaging. They can lead to a huge deterioration in our mental health, in how we view ourselves as a person, and in how we perceive how our life is going.

Because relationships can be so impactful, it’s important to know some relationship counselling basics. Specifically: why do relationship counselling? In what circumstances could it be helpful? Here are some thoughts from Robertson & Ling on the three primary reasons why relationship counselling is a good idea:

1. Communication is becoming problematic
   Good communication is hard, and poor communication can happen in any relationship. Critically, it tends to sneak up on people too. Issues that used to be resolved relatively quickly can become ongoing ones. Couples feel like they’re going round and round in circles more often. Or it feels like more relational damage is done in conflict than before. If this is happening more and more, or if it’s becoming the norm, then it’s a strong sign that relationship counselling is needed. Communication only tends to get worse and worse, so get onto it early!
   

2. Connection is weakening
   This one also tends to happen gradually. For a whole host of reasons - busyness or parenting being common ones - couples don’t prioritise the relationship as they once did. This sense of disconnection grows stronger over time, to the point that couples feel like they’re no longer on the same page at all. At some point during this “drifting” process, it’s important to get relationship counselling to learn how to stay connected, even amidst all the barriers. And once again, the earlier the better!
   

3. When you’ve tried to sort it out between you but it hasn’t worked
   Some couples can self-identify the above problems, and they’ve able to work through it together to fix whatever is ailing their relationship. However, other couples may attempt to do the same thing, and find that they aren’t able to make much progress. And that’s not a judgement on such couples; a healthy relationship involves a skillset that some of us may not have had much exposure to. So if you’ve trying to improve a relationship and you’re not getting anywhere, then it’s a good sign that relationships counselling is worth a go.
   

   If you would like to learn more about couple or marriage counselling, please visit our relationships counselling page. You are also welcome to a free, 15 minute phone consultation to discuss your relationship needs and suitability for counselling. Alternatively, if you would like to book an appointment with a Robertson & Ling counsellor, you can do so here.