Ways to grieve - pt.3

This is Robertson & Ling’s final blog post on different ways to grieve. In our introduction we say that there is no “right” way to grieve. In pt.1 and pt.2 we discovered that there are actually many ways to respond to a loss. Today we will look at anxiety, sadness, and experiencing the deceased.

Anxiety:

Losses often lead to all sorts of uncertainties and life changes. This means that anxiety and worry are natural responses to loss, and to this subsequent uncertainty. For example, “Now that I’ve lost my job, how will I afford to pay my rent?” Or “Now that me and my friend are no longer on speaking terms, who will I go to when I am struggling with something?” "Will my life ever be as enjoyable again now that my daughter has died?"

Sadness:

This is the emotion people most commonly associate with grief. Often in response to a loss, individuals will experience sadness and a decreased mood. Indeed, the sadness/decreased mood associated with grief can look similar to that of depression. This response to loss is understandable, and is one with which most of us can empathise. To have a situation, experience or person removed from your life that you valued and that added meaning and quality to your life is a sad occurrence. The way in which this sadness is expressed and experienced is highly individualised, and will vary from person to person.

Experience of the deceased:

Sometimes, when people experience the death of someone, they feel that they can hear the deceased person talking to them, or like they are near them, or that a certain object (such as an animal or “shrine”) represents or is closely connected to that person. This is a very normal thing for someone to experience. When we lose something significant, it makes sense to minimize the loss by keeping a degree of connection with the person lost. Indeed, finding ways of keeping an ongoing connection with a deceased individual (e.g. celebrating their birthday) is a healthy part of the grieving process.

Hopefully you have found these blog posts helpful. Please do not hesitate to book in for grief counselling with Robertson & Ling to explore these grief processes further, or to receive support for your grief and loss. You are also welcome to a free, 15 minute phone consultation to discuss your suitability for counselling at Robertson & Ling. To learn more about grief counselling, please visit our grief counselling page. Finally, to view any other services that Robertson & Ling offer, such as marriage or couples counselling, please visit our services page.